Хоть и по пять, но зато о-о-очень большие... вернее, очень вкусные икринки!

Сразу признаюсь – статья эта заказная! Типа "На правах рекламы". Но очень не хотелось выносить эти "права" в эпиграф. Потому что отвечаю за каждое слово. Все началось с того, что фирме Zarendom я высказал свое разочарование икрой, полученной от их конкурентов (не буду называть фирму, мне их искренне жаль). И тогда менеджеры Zarendom предложили мне как раз в пику конкурентам – похвалить ИХ продукт.
Когда возникает разговор о красной икре, мне вспоминаются две старые шутки времен застоя, то есть времен тотального дефицита и пустых прилавков.
Первая:
- Папа, что такое красная икра?
- Это, сынок, те же яйца, только не куриные, а рыбьи. И цена такая же: рубль за десяток.
Вторая (иностранец в гастрономе):
- У вас икра красная есть в продаже?
- Нет.
- Почему?
- А у нас на нее спроса нет.
- Как это????
- Очень просто. Вот постойте у прилавка пару недель и сами убедитесь: хоть один идиот спросит про красную икру?!
Когда я приехал в Германию, а дело было накануне Рождества 1993 года, самое первое, что меня поразило, как и почти всех эмигрантов, - абсолютное продуктовое изобилие. Вещи интересовали меньше, больше всего в совке замучил продуктовый дефицит. Предновогодние ароматы цитрусовых, шпроты, копчености и... заветная, недосягаемая, наивкуснейшая, наидефицитнейшая красная икра. Я увидел ее на витринах в разных расфасовках, с разными этикетками, разного посола и для разных кулинарных рецептов. А в первые недели нового года удивился еще больше: после праздников икра никуда не пропала, она была в продаже – тогда трудно было в это поверить – ВСЕГДА!
"Зато" немецкая красная икра всегда была дорогой. И этот печальный факт слишком долго и часто портил мне настроение, чтобы я не обратил внимания на появившуюся в 2003 году рекламу красной икры от фирмы Zarendom. Она предлагалась гораздо дешевле. Правда, в больших количествах. Но воспитанное незабвенными советскими парткомами и профкомами чувство коллективизма и кампанейщины в данном случае сработали в плюс: найти 2-3 "соикорников" оказалось в Германии гораздо легче, чем в СССР - собутыльников. И с тех пор я всегда покупал красную икру почти бочками. Ел сам без ограничений, дарил родственникам на всякие праздники, продавал с небольшой наценкой дальним знакомым, чтобы доставку очередной "бочки" окупить.
Кстати, икра в приличной упаковке – это не только украшение стола, но и отличный подарок! И не менее универсальный мелко-коммерческий продукт. Хранится она несколько месяцев. Такой подарок почти всегда уместен. И продать ее тоже можно в любой момент: вокруг очень много людей, которые уже отвыкли запасаться вкуснятинами впрок, два-три звонка – и покупатель хотя бы одной банки всегда найдется. Это я к тому, что не бойтесь покупать икру в большом количестве – лишнее можно легко распределить за несколько дней, зато сами всегда "при дефиците", еще и уважение с благодарностями получите. Экономика примерно такая: если (к примеру!) фирма высылает пять 400-граммовых банок красной икры за 65 евро, то получается по 13 евро за банку. Это, считай, оптом. Тогда "в розницу" никто из знакомых не откажется купить одну-две банки по 15 евро за штуку. Получается, что если я 4 из 5 банок продам, то сам я буду питаться икрой по цене 12,50 евро за килограмм – то есть всего за 5 евро съем аж 400 грамм красной икры. Чуть-чуть дороже приличного хлеба.
К слову, и рецептами могу поделиться. Всякие там гастрономические излишества не для меня: живу один, из высших кулинарных достижений умею только яйца в крутую сварить и "лидловские" блины в микроволновке разогреть. Но и этого достаточно. Блинчики с икрой – сплошное объедение. А если крутое яйцо разрезать надвое, смазать срез майонезом и на каждую половинку положить ложечку икры, - то даже без водочки пойдет за милую душу! Я тут по случаю такую классную пластиковую подставку с крышкой приобрел – как раз на 18 половинок яиц, то есть на 9 целых; а в упаковке ведь всегда 10 яиц, причем одно почти всегда битое (у меня!) – на яичницу...
Кажется, я отвлекся...
Возвращаюсь к Zarendom. Получаю я недавно от их конкурентов икру не красную, а тёмно-тёмно-коричневую. Причем в большом количестве. Сначала подумал, что только одна банка испорченная. Открыл вторую – такая же. Позвонил продавцу, возмутился. Справедливости ради, скажу честно: никаких возражений со стороны поставщика не было, икру забрали, выслали новую... такую же. На этот раз я попробовал. Вкус неплохой, просто со слов продавца технология чуть иная, даже вроде дороже прежней. Я больше возражать не стал, оставил себе и сам себя успокоил такой гипотезой: раз темнее и дороже, то, наверное, красную с черной мешают...
А теперь окончательно возвращаюсь к Zarendom, причем уже во всех смыслах: не только закончу ими свой рассказ, но и покупать теперь у них буду. Потому что... Хотя бы потому, что есть у них, например, так называемая "Икра горбуши Premium 500 г" – это хит продаж, вкусная и качественная икра.
Еще можно похвалить Zarendom за четкую классификацию своей продукции. Например, Zarendom® Classic - икра хорошего качества по привлекательной цене. Или Zarendom® Premium - эталон качества, эталон вкуса, новинка, которая стала сразу же рекордсменом продаж. Или вот еще: икра кеты в стеклянных банках - отличный презентабельный внешний вид, отборная икра для особых случаев.
Короче, зайдите на их интернет-сайт www.zarendom.de (можно не уходя с нашего портала – см. ниже) или попросите выслать буклет – богатый выбор. Правда, икра чуть дороже, чем та – почти чёрная. Но, перефразируя Мишу Жванецкого: лучше красная, хоть и по пять, чем хоть и по три, но... совсем не красная.
Иными словами, качество решает всё, а это – Zarendom!
Владимир Зарецкий





Ох, уж наши великие комбинаторы !!! Но так расписали, что аж самой захотелось попробовать. Не подскажите, а в другие страны они свою продукцию посылают? Сколько берут за пересылку, если купить 5 банок по 400 грамм?
И еще, спасибо за интересную статью, прочла с большим интересом. :)
Не успел спросить, как уже получил ответ:
Владимир,
вот цены и условия доставки.
http://www.zarendom.de/content...
Если что-то перевести на русский, то спрашивайте.

Искин, спасибо за оперативный ответ! Там есть переключатель на русскую страницу. Но все равно спасибо, за любезное предложение помочь с переводом. :)

Пожалуй, размещу инфу о вашей "чудесной икре" у себя на шведском форуме. Заходите в гости :)
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"Когда возникает разговор о красной икре, мне вспоминаются две старые шутки времен застоя, то есть времен тотального дефицита и пустых прилавков."Тотальный дефицит и пустые прилавки - это время Горбачева.
А красную и черную икру, мы тогда, действительно, не видели (почти не видели, купить ее все-таки было можно и хорошего качества), а сейчас в России мы не имеем этой возможности по двум причинам - низкие доходы у основной массы населения и паршивое качество вне зависимости от цены.